Johanna, my beautiful, spirited, artistic daughter, becomes 18 today. The best way to characterize her is smart and intelligent, like her Mom, but she would never admit that they are similar in any way. They are definitely cultural opposites and often at odds with each other. Growing up in entirely different worlds, shaped by vastly different economies, family structures, gender expectations, and technologies.
Her mom was born into Mao’s Cultural Revolution and was raised with Confucian values emphasizing obedience, duty, and modesty. Within an extended family network of aunts, uncles, and grandparents who played major roles in her upbringing. She had few opportunities for personal choice in education or career, and early on was assigned by the local authorities to learn the metallurgical sciences at which she excelled and eventually earned her master’s of science degree. While her true desire was in the world of commerce. Soon after arriving in America, she earned another master’s degree in business and has since done well in her real estate investments. She will rarely openly express any political ideology and values harmony and pragmatism over confrontation. Her passion is lifelong learning and continuously investigating new things and new ideas.
From my daughter’s very early beginnings showed the signs of her strong will and independence. “Let me do it myself,” “I don’t like it,” “Leave me alone” remain some of her favorite expressions that we will often hear if we hear anything at all.
Brought up in a world vastly different from her Mom, one that prizes independence, individuality, and self-expression. What’s fascinating about that is not just the cultural contrast but the emotional translation that happens every day between them and how those differences have shaped their relationship, identity, and worldview. Her mother’s values of modesty and restraint coexist uneasily with a culture that celebrates confidence and visibility.
Jojo, as I have called her from the time of her birth, is one of many names from a list of often-changing tags that she prefers over the one officially inscribed on the certificate confirming her pedigree and that she is truly a member of the human species.
My young lady is fiercely independent; she hears the beat of a different drum and then dances to her own steps and not those of others.
She is artistic, like her dad was in an earlier lifetime. The careers that she has pondered pursuing include tattoo artists and mortician, the latter mainly to be able to restore a look of life to the faces of those who have moved on beyond the threshold.
I hope to have instilled in her an understanding of Joseph Campbell’s words to follow her bliss, and it seems it might have been heard as she has settled on a path that she can find joy and satisfaction in doing, as well as stimulating her creativity by becoming a Pastry Chef. She is now enrolled with a world renowned French culinary school.
This has in actuality, become a disappointment to me, although the treats I have tasted are truly wonderful and out of this world. I do love my doughnuts, cookies, cakes, and pies, did I mention doughnuts? Only recently learning that I’m now classified as pre-diabetic and shouldn’t partake of such astonishing delectables. Makes me wonder if life is worth living if I can’t enjoy these treats made by the hands of my offspring. …Did I mention doughnuts?
While mom was away for an extended visit with her family in China for the Lunar New Year, I became ill and was hospitalized for more days than I care to spend in an institution of higher healing. She was left alone to care for the home and herself. While her big brother took care of this patient, see my story about The Chart coming soon. Jojo didn’t hesitate and stepped up to assume the responsibility of caring for the house and the few four-legged critters that reside here as well. When the ingredients in my blood looked like they may actually be coming back to normalcy, I was released from my sentence and returned home, where she helped the old man to recuperate from his ordeal.
Johanna inherits two models of womanhood — her mother’s dignified restraint and America’s assertive freedom. In time, she may realize she carries both: the quiet strength of Shandong and the open confidence of Texas.
Thank you for being my daughter, and Happy Birthday. Love Ya!
November 9, 2025
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